aisle7:

[dave] Da kibbies. A less intellectual and even cuter follow-up to Lawless’s last post. Phots by Heather and Dave.

aisle7:

‘Cause sometimes stuff that came out bad actually came out really cool. Happy belated Christmas from Aisle 7. Photos by Heather.

You guys should all follow this blog. 1). Because it’s awesome. 2) Because they posted my reject photos 

I really do love this. And I’m lucky to have it. 

And you guys don’t need to know who he was. 

But I’ve been thinking about his friends a lot, since I heard. 

And I hope they never get angry. 

You know, because how it really works, is you’re in shock. Then you’re sad. And then you’re angry. 

And it’s not like I don’t think these kids have a right to be angry. I don’t want them to be angry, because the anger never goes away. It never gets better. 

You can teach yourself to accept it. And you can teach yourself to get up in the morning, to laugh at things again, to have fun again. 

But you can never teach yourself to not be angry. 

That’s the worst part. 

You spend the rest of your life carrying this anger. And you really don’t have anything solid to be angry at. Are you mad at God? Are you mad at fate? Are you mad at some flawed person? You’ll never figure it out. You’ll never know exactly who you’re mad at. 

So I just don’t want these kids to be angry. Because they’re young, and they have long lives ahead of them, and that’s too long to carry around that much anger. 

I hope they’re still at that stage of life where you can forgive people for unspeakable things. 

Many many moons ago, when I worked at a liquor store in Woburn, this guy came in who I had never seen before, and haven’t seen since. 

This was unusual, because most of my customers were regulars, and I knew them all on a first name basis. But that fact is not terribly important. 

But this guy was buying a lottery ticket. And probably alcohol, but I only remember the lottery ticket. And as I was punching his numbers into the machine, he told me if he won he’d give me part of it. 

Lots of people, usually men, had said this to me in the past. I had never had the opportunity to collect. 

But I laughed, like I always did. 

But then this guy gets real personal, and he says, “wanna hear a story”. 

And it’s almost closing, the store is empty, I’m bored, so I say “sure”. 

And what he tells me is this:

When I was 18 years old I broke spine riding a motorcycle. I was in the hospital for six months, and they told me I was never going to walk again. But I’m walking now. 

This story amazes me. I think it’s one of the most beautiful things a stranger has ever said to me. 

But he continues. 

When I was 21 I started playing the Mega Millions every week. I played the same numbers every week for over a year. And then one day, I didn’t feel like going down to the store. I didn’t play my numbers. And that was the week that they won. 

This is the most depressing thing I have ever heard. I suddenly feel the urge to give this complete stranger a hug. 

But again, he continues. 

And every single day, I think about how lucky I am to be walking around.  I don’t give a damn that I didn’t play my numbers that week. All I care about is that I can walk. 

This conversation like, restored my faith in humanity. I think about it every time something in my life goes terribly wrong. 

I’m glad that there is someone out there who can be so appreciative. 

I think it’s so unbelievable beautiful. 

And just in case you were wondering, it’s 100% true. 

Even I couldn’t make this shit up. 

You don’t get to tell me you love me. You just don’t. I have absolutely no room in my life for you to love me. You have no right to demand anything from me. 

And here’s why. 

Five years ago I would have dropped everything I was doing and followed you anywhere. And you took advantage of that. 

You came in and out of my life like it was nothing, and every single time you expected me to just be there, waiting for you. 

And what’s so sickening, is that I always was. 

But I’m not anymore. 

I no longer use your affection for me to determine my self worth. 

I no longer care that “you’re broken” or that “we’re soul mates” or that “you love me”. 

Because even if you were, or we were, or you did, 

It just doesn’t matter to me anymore. 

Throughout the years, I’ve found that the more I learn, the more I hate everything. 

nevver:

Some Velvet Morning